Her due date was March 8th and I really thought it would come and pass and that I would have to be induced on my induction date, March 15th at 3 AM.
My last bump picture! (40 weeks)
March 8, 2017: We went walking at the Gilbert Riparian that evening just like we always did. It was probably the most beautiful walk that we had my entire pregnancy. There was a difference about that day, even Wes and his family both felt it. The sunset was incredible! It reflected deep blues and pinks off of the water spots throughout the riparian. For the past few weeks prior I had been having contractions, nothing too consistent but definitely contractions, and especially when I would walk. On this day, the 8th, I wanted her out more than ever! The swelling in my legs, feet and hands (and pretty much everywhere) had gotten pretty bad and I was so uncomfortable.
Later that night we went back to the Clouse's house and played many rounds of mexican train dominoes, probably the best game ever, we love it! Then we decided to go and get Blue Bunny ice cream, Wes' favorite!! We went home after that at about 11 PM and decided to go to bed.
March 9, 2017:
12 AM rolled around and I woke up with horrible cramps. I just tried to ignore them and tried to go back to sleep. That lasted about 20 minutes until I woke up again but this time they were so awful I felt like I was going to throw up. I figured something was happening so I took a bath, which didn't help and by then the cramps had turned into very regular contractions that were about 3 minutes a part. I wanted to watch them for a couple of hours before I woke Wes up, (we went to the hospital the Saturday before because I thought my water had broken, turned out to be a false alarm) I wanted to make sure I would not be sent home, I didn't want to wake him up for a false alarm. I then bounced on my exercise ball and paced around my house to try and make them worse, it worked! That's when I woke Wes up. We packed last minute things, he took a shower and then we were on our way!
5:30 AM: We arrived at Banner Gateway hospital. There was someone in the room before us so we waited out in the waiting room for about 10 minutes before we gave our insurance cards and were taken back to a room to determine if I was in active labor or not. The first nurse that helped me was pretty rude which made me nervous to have her check and take care of me. She took my blood pressure multiple times within the hour, it kept rising and eventually got to 177/100 which is pretty high and I dilated from a 2-4 within an hour. All of this plus the constant and worsening of contractions admitted me to the hospital. I was having this baby TODAY!!
7:30 AM: I was finally taken to labor & delivery room one! By then my contractions were awful. I could still stand them but barely, I could barely talk as well. I knew I wanted an epidural my whole pregnancy, I wanted it to be a calm and somewhat enjoyable experience for both Wes and I. I received the epidural a little while after being in my new room. The lady that did it was amazing! She seriously did it in just a couple minutes. I loved my epidural because it took the edge off but I could still feel each contraction and I could even feel her come out, it was incredible!
9:00 AM-4:00 PM: This time period was the waiting period. Waiting for dilation to happen amongst many other factors. About an hour after receiving the epidural I was dilated to a six, it was going really well and so quickly. My water never broke on its own, Dr. Beck came in to break it. When he broke my water he also had to turn the baby. She was facing up and you want them to be facing down toward your back. It was the craziest thing that he could just flip her like that inside me. That's why he's the best OB, he can seriously take on any challenge and safely.
I never had to get pitocin to help with contractions and dilation, my body was doing it all on it's own, it was awesome! But I did have preeclampsia which made the baby's heart rate go up and down and I couldn't stop shaking uncontrollably and not because I was cold.
Then I stayed at a six the longest, that lasted a couple of hours. After that I quickly progressed to a nine and there I stayed for about another hour until I was ready to push! During this whole time my baby's heart rate was having some problems so I was on oxygen during pretty much all of my labor and delivery process. 4 PM hit and it was time to push! I pushed for an hour. I'm glad my epidural wasn't too strong because I was able to feel myself push. Pushing was crazy. I didn't realize how hard pushing would be and the more exhausted you get as time goes on. As her head started making its appearance we could tell that she had tons of dark hair! They brought the mirror over so I could see, it was really awesome to see that. She had so much hair that at one point between contractions, Dr. Beck started curling her hair and said that she needed to look pretty when she arrived! haha kind of weird but also kind of funny. Also, a little side note, I am a very private, reserved and modest person. The beginning of this day was a little tough on me because the doctors and nurses basically see every part of your body. I was a little embarrassed but by the end you just want your baby out and you're not even thinking or caring about who sees what. The experience of having a baby is unlike any other and you really can't describe it well unless you've gone through it, it's kind of magical in a way.
5:16 PM: After about an hour of pushing... I pushed and everyone was getting so excited and said okay next push and she will be here! They were definitely right! That next push I pushed SO hard. I could feel her coming out, it almost took my breath away... and then there she was!! Dr. Beck held her up, I could see her umbilical cord dangling below her and then she was quickly placed on my chest. She was pretty quiet but very squirmy and damp. Then Wes got to cut the umbilical cord. I was really impressed with Wes during her delivery. Normally he's pretty squeamish with blood and certain medical things but he did so so well! He held my leg the whole time and watched her come out. It was a really special experience and I'm really happy with how my delivery turned out. After Dr. Beck placed her on my chest, the nurse said I could hold her as long as I wanted. After a couple minutes I was curious of how much she weighed. The nurse took her across the room and weighed her. That was when things kind of turned around.. they realized that she was grunting and never really cried. She was having a tough time breathing. They tried everything they could in the delivery room but then the NICU nurse came in and said she had to take her because Indy had swallowed a lot of amniotic fluid on her way out and it was in her lungs. They bundled her up nice and snug and let me hold her for 30 seconds before they quickly took her to the NICU nursery.
That was probably the worst moment of my life. I delivered this beautiful baby that I was so excited to hold and love and then she was taken from me so fast. I didn't have a birth plan, more of just a couple things I wanted and the top one was to have a healthy baby. I was so sad that I couldn't go with her but was really happy that Wes could. I don't think I really could have handled seeing them hook her up to the oxygen machine and to watch them put an IV in her tiny hand, but Wes was there with her and handled it very well. I wasn't able to see her again until they transferred me out of my delivery room and into the room I would stay in the remainder of my hospital stay. On the way to my new room we stopped by the NICU and I was able to see Indy. I wasn't allowed to hold her because she was in her little clear box. I was only able to put my hand through the hole in the box and lightly touch her head. It was devastating and so hard for me to see as her mother. So tiny, fresh from heaven and already needing help. I felt so helpless and all I wanted to do was hold her close and let her know how loved she was.
The next day was Friday. I finally got to hold her halfway through the day and I got to nurse her for the first time! We all wanted her to get better as quickly as possible so the nurses requested that I come to the NICU every three hours to nurse her. It was hard to even be a part for those three hours and I often went earlier to see her sooner. No one could hold her except for me for the first couple days because they wanted her to get as strong as possible and passing her from person to person could make her backslide. Wes got to hold her for the first time on Sunday, it was a neat experience being able to see that. She was so relaxed on him, just like she still is now, she sure loves him!
By Saturday night at 12 she was able to come completely off of the oxygen she was on. They had been weening her a level lower every 6 hours and finally she got to come off of it!! Her IV accidentally came out on its own and she was doing so well that they decided to keep it out. The only thing we were waiting on was for her to pass her last blood sugar level which was dependent on how well she ate. Her blood sugar levels dropped a little for awhile but she started to eat better and then her levels rose within a day. By Sunday afternoon, after she passed her last test, we were able to finally go home!! When the nurse brought her into our room in her little tiny glass boxed in bed we were shocked! We couldn't really believe that she got to be with us!!
Putting her in her clothes, then in her car seat and walking out of the hospital was a surreal half hour of my life. She really felt like she was mine and it was then that we felt more like a family as we drove away from the hospital.
Being her mom is one of the more difficult things I will ever do but it is so rewarding and is the most heavenly role I could have here. We love her more than we can put into words and we have loved watching her grow and change everyday. We love our little Indy Clouse.
The NICU:
When they brought her into our room:
When we brought her home:
